A Letter for When You’re Stressed or Homesick
2020 is a time of growth and change for you. You have scientific proof of this–the Astrology 2020 Predictions Youtube videos you’ve been watching and taking way too seriously all say so! But it doesn’t take a faux star scientist to see that this is a big year for you: this is the year you’ll study abroad, and the year you’ll become a senior in college.
The opportunity you have next semester is once in a lifetime. It’s going to be one filled with learning–both the kind in the classroom that you’ve come to love (nerd), and the kind you can only find through living in a world vastly different from the one you know. It’s a stepping stone to becoming more independent, to finding who you are outside Scripps.
This change is particularly scary for you because you are so unbelievably lucky–you love so many things about home. Your friends at Scripps feel like family, you feel like you’ve hit your stride in your schoolwork, you’re comfortable living on both the East and West Coasts, you just know how things work. But you’re static. And that’s precisely why it’s time to try something new. Three years ago, you had never lived in California. You cried on the airplane to school, you begged your mom not to leave after move-in, and regretted not going to school closer to home. You felt out of place at first. But going to Scripps has changed, challenged, and pushed you, and because of Scripps, you’ve found home 3,000 miles away from your hometown and family. Studying abroad will do the same for you. It’s daunting to meet new people, to live in a country where you don’t speak the language. But Copenhagen will become your home. And what’s more magical than finding more and more places and people that mean something to you? Growing is scary, but it’s also amazing: by unsettling and pushing you, change creates new opportunities for happiness.
All that being said, I also want to spend the last part of this post setting some goals for the semester ahead. Hopefully they’ll be a resource that Post-Arrival in Denmark and Pre-Acclimated to Denmark Maddy can turn to.
Goals for Your Semester Abroad!
1. Travel! Travel! Travel! Cities on the itinerary: London, Leeds, Florence, Granada and France to visit friends. You’re dying to absorb the history in Berlin, spend St. Patrick’s Day in Dublin, see the northern lights and baths in Iceland, and be stunted by the history of discovery and scholarship at Oxford. Paris! Athens! Realistically, you know you won’t see all of these places, but you want to see everything you can.
2. Bond with your host family! You can already tell from their email that they are kind, compassionate, and excited to know you. You are so lucky to have such a cool, scary opportunity for immersion and intergenerational connection. Take advantage of all you have to learn from them, be cognizant of how lucky you are that your home abroad will quite literally be a home, complete with an energetic dog and your host sister, who is 11 years old and by the sound of it, already way too cool for you (she dances, sings and paints–how is she already such a well-rounded artist?)
3. Get involved! Go to the Student Fair and find opportunities for volunteering, writing, music, and LGBTQ+ community building (in other words, get involved, but in things that you’re truly passionate about).
4. Take as many recommendations as you can get from other people for things to see and places to study–but also, find your own favorite spots. Learning from others is essential, but also, some of your favorite places at home are coffee shops you’ve wandered into. Keep trying new things. Leave space for wonder and happenstance. Allocate your coffee budget accordingly.
5. Especially for the first couple of weeks, say yes to new experiences. It’s like freshman year all over again: once you have your bearings, you can be selective and start saying no to invitations, choosing to stay home over exploring every now and then. You don’t start out with that luxury. You never know when you’re going to happen upon new friendships or new memories–be open.
6. FaceTime your friends and make plans to see them when you miss them–take action when you feel homesick rather than dwelling in it, or letting it paralyze you.
7. Plan small day trips with new friends, old friends, or your host family. See the castles outside of the city! Take a trip to Sweden! Explore the areas around your homestay. See Copenhagen, see Denmark, see the Nordic countries. Your backyard is beautiful and so different from Southern California–take advantage of it!
8. Get better at cooking!! Let’s face it: you are in desperate need of an update to your cooking skills, but you’ve always refused to admit that you don’t know what’s up. Be willing to say you don’t know what’s going on–in cooking and beyond. In some ways, I imagine this feeling will define at least the first part of your abroad experience.
9. Connect with students in your homestay network! You are notorious for letting people come to you. Resist that temptation. Seek new friendships.
10. Be willing to explain yourself, your perspective, and the US. Be willing to have what you have come to take for granted challenged. Explore Danish ways of thinking and seeing. Be conscious, present and adaptable.
Abroad is going to be what you make of it. You are going to make it something special. Everything won’t go according to your plans, but when push comes to shove, you are resilient enough to make new ones. Trust in that.
Hej from Denmark! 